The crows leave Alan parts for his Machine
The Dads decide to homeschool Alan in the shed. They teach him about the Intertestamental Period, how coffee relates to birds and vice versa, the crimes of Richard Chase, wishing ticks and other List-based subjects.
The Dads go on an adventure in the world behind the cupboards when Alan is snatched by a Cupboard Person.
The Dads get obsessed with next door's lettuce and concoct a variety of hare-brained schemes to get their hands on it.
The Dads discover that Alan has found a crocodile behind the garages and is feeding it beer and sausages and teaching it how to pray. The Dads confiscate the crocodile and attempt to deprogramme it, with hilarious and heartbreaking consequences.
It's Alan's birthday and nobody comes to his party, so the Dads use black magick and everyday kitchen supplies to summon enough daemons to make up the numbers.
The Dads are fighting over a transcendental bomber jacket, so Alan decides to run away.
The Dads are getting ready to speak their good friend Phil Speckter via the Marie Laveau induction helmet when they hear the door knocking. Their nosey neigbour (James) has called round to return a video tape 'Cher fitness A new Attitude' preaching to the converted
he explains the instan benefits of said fitness video. James tells the two dads that he saw baby Alan Crying over a sylvanian family cottage Cottage on the way out of the house and assumed she was on her way to melthorpe for the festival of howling.
The dads explain the falling out and James offers his help in the seasrch. He suggests speaking to Phil Speckor and they all enter into the ritual of seance. Phil SPector appears out of the arsehole of one of the dads with a small fishing rod he assumes they were
inviting him to the festival of howls. They look withing the cupboard, have a small argument with the three little turds and make their way through the cupboard portal to melthorpe. The mayor of melthorpe greets them requesting and unreasonable amount of paperwork
in order to justify their stay and introduces the highlights of what promises to be the most ambitious of howling festivals in recent years. A lightbulb on a lead catches the attention of the the two dads and they agree to hire said bulb to guide them in return for a handfull of fishermens friends (once considered bribary but now acceptable as a legitimate currency for the fall breathed folk of melthorpe)
the mayor smiles with growing intensity as the two dads and phil specker walk to the unkown place. the mayor grips his bag of wind and take several short intakes of breath through clenched teeth holding a manic stare. "you won't find it there" he mutters
now seated the two dads are drinking gravy liuke the blood of their enemies, it is clear that the bulb is not fit for purpose and has alterior motives for leading the two dads away from the festival of howls. "the festival of howls" the mayor whispers
"HOW!! HOW!! HOWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! grab your breaksheath tis but a phoonesby albraith.. tither! tither! yelsell, tither yonders falsebeak witten gelfork matter nosepork.."
These powerful, ancient words herald the beginning of the festival. Melthorpe instantly becomes a hive of activity as its inhabitants emerge to ready their town. The streets are decked with the traditional mothwreaths and running-shorts-bunting. The townsfolk gargle milk and turmeric to ready their throats for the howling. Crowds fill the streets, and amongst them, a hooded stranger holding a Sylvanian Family Cottage.
